Boobs on Deck

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/elle-australia-editor-defends-controversial-119867383588.html

SO not a big deal.

What this has to do with a fashion magazine? Unless they are advertising designer fashions with easy access for nursing, I don't see any connection beyond the fact that the magazine wanted something sensational to rouse readers.  Granted this cover is just the subscriber edition.  The newsstand image is here:



While I'm always happy to see moms breastfeeding, I'm quite tired of the debate about a mother's right and what is and isn't appropriate.  I breastfed my babies and never faced in public shaming.  I did it on planes, buses, trains, park benches, stores, restaurants, parks, grocery stores, libraries, office buildings, bathrooms, etc.  Sometimes I covered up with a nursing cover, a scarf or a sweater, or the top hood of the baby carrier.  Other times, I just did what I had to do without making a big deal about it.  The main thing is, you don't have to look.  You know how when you spot roadkill and you divert your eyes so you want see the gory mess.  Well you can make the same choice if you don't want to see a bare breast feeding an infant if it grosses you out.

I can think of far more disgusting things I've seen happen in public to complain or tweet or facebook about, like stinky homeless people boarding the train or bus I'm on or obnoxious drunk people speaking loudly and inappropriately.  I'd much rather be surrounded by babies and boobs.

What do you think?

No more writers block!

I've been a fan of MyBrownBaby for a while, and I decided to contribute a story.  You can check it out here.

Road Tripping With Kids: Leading an Adventurous Life with 3 Children, in 3 Cities, in 3 Years

BY DENENE MILLNER — MAY 19, 2015

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By DOMINIQUE CLAYTON

I’ve always been a busy body. Restless, imaginative, outgoing and fearless. I left home at 17 to go to college across the country and never looked back. My wanderlust has taken me to several places in the globe including Africa, Brazil, and Europe. In that journey I managed to pick up a husband and have some kids, but I have no plans of slowing down just yet. While most families are thinking about settling into their dream house in a neighborhood with a good school, my family is thinking of how we can teach on the road, acquire new languages, and fill the pages of our passports. We’re a family that loves road tripping with kids.

Shortly before I met my husband, I was seriously considering quitting my job in New York to move somewhere in Africa and to teach or work for an international organization. I had grown tired of the single life in NYC and was looking for a life reset button. While I never found that button, I did manage to find my husband. When we started dating, I told him that I was planning to leave the country, but his charm convinced me to stay and explore the possibilities of our relationship. Shortly thereafter, much to the surprise of our friends and family, we married.

We spent our first year of marriage exploring New York together since he was a recent transplant and soon discovered we had a baby on the way.

Our first was born in New York City. She arrived fashionably late to her due date, but just in time for summer in the city. I like to think of her as the capstone of my wild days in my twenties in the big apple. My family plans and choices haven’t always been understood or welcomed with joy. Within the first month of our daughter’s birth, I strapped her to my chest, threw some earmuffs on her, and took her to a African music concert in the park. My thoughts are that children and marriages aren’t a handicap to our lives. They become the reasons for living and gaining new experiences.

Children and marriages aren’t a handicap to our lives. They're for gaining new experiences.CLICK TO TWEET

Of course I would get those looks and comments from other women, like “that baby is too little to be out of the house.” While annoying, I didn’t mind it. After all, I heard no complaints from my baby, so we kept it moving. She was one of those rare babies who never cried, slept regularly, ate regularly, was never sick. She was so easy. She just stared wide-eyed out at the world, like me ☺.

So why be stuck at home?

Not only did my husband respect my idea of parenting, he encouraged my trip planning. After a couple trips to our families in the states, we decided to go across the pond for a European adventure. Our baby girl was only 10 months, and couldn’t walk yet, so how much trouble could she get into?! And hello, traveling with babies is FREE! You just have to do a little research on how to make it practical and comfortable for your family. (I’ll write a separate cheat sheet for traveling with babies). In our case, since we were doing an overnight flight, I looked into what international airlines had sleeping options for infants, and got a sweet hookup with a complimentary on-board baby bassinet that hooked on to the seat tray so we could relax hands free on the flight. Did I mention it was free?

You know what else is free? Breastmilk! I didn’t have to pack a bunch of bottles and supplies. Her meals were ready whenever and wherever she needed them. And last but not least, baby wearing made getting around the airport and crowded places easier and much safer.

That first big trip was a great success, and she became our partner in crime. During the months following the European trip to London and Paris, we took her with us on more travels back to see friends and family in Canada, Los Angeles, Atlanta, and even New Orleans. My husband and I even managed to do a couple international trips without baby (thanks for babysitting, mom!☺).

The “rules” suggest that you should be married, live in a house, and then have kids. Daddy should work in an office and mommy should stay at home or, if she does work, there should be a grandma nearby, a nanny, or a daycare to drop the kids at. Well, none of those circumstances applied to us, so we had to write our own script for how we were gonna do this family thing. Here’s my take on it—the things you must do for your children in order of importance:

1. Keep them alive (the basics: food, shelter, water)
2. Development (how to eat, talk, walk, get dressed) – having multiple children makes this easier because the younger ones learn very easily from the older ones
3. Educate (how to read, write, think, create, explore) – you don’t need a traditional school to do this; homeschooling or learning on the road is an option
4. Establish a world view (what is the world, where are we in it, who else exists in it, how do they live)

The last point is one I hold dear to my heart because with a world view comes humility, understanding, compassion, creativity, communication, and growth. If we stay in one place, how can we grow? Like plants, many of us need more water or sunlight to grow to our highest potential, and if we aren’t getting it where we are currently planted, then we need to move somewhere else. The good news is there’s soil, sun, and water all over the world, so we can grow anywhere.

Just before our oldest turned two, we got pregnant with our second. At that point, we wanted out of the concrete jungle and were looking for nature, an opportunity to grow food, and to spread out as a growing family. So we packed up our bags midway through my pregnancy and moved to Georgia. We appreciated the southern charm, beautiful country landscapes, and before long, we naturally birthed our new Georgia “peach.” As we approached our second winter season in Atlanta, my husband and I got that familiar itch to set foot again. Even our oldest asked when she could go back on the airplane. So just shy of our second daughter’s first birthday, we packed everything up again and headed out west to Los Angeles.

For now, Los Angeles feels right and the kids love it. And now we’re in for our 3rd baby. Based on our pattern, I imagine we will be making another major move in a year or so. Of course others have asked how the kids adjust and what to do about friends and schools. The good thing is we have multiple children, so they are each other’s friends, and wherever we are we always make a daily trip to the local park and playground to socialize with others. They aren’t school age just yet, so in the meantime, they are learning French and Spanish through books and videos and will likely be homeschooled by whichever one of us stays home. I also plan to look for international school or bilingual schools, so they can maintain an international connection. If we don’t go to another US city, our next move will likely be a stint in Europe or maybe the Middle East. But for now, we’re exploring the coast, the beaches, growing avocados, and raising vegan babies, one colorful day at a time. Stay tuned as we plan our next adventure!

Dominique Clayton is a former wild child turned wife and mom.  As a lover of travel, art, festivals, African and French cinema, Dominique has traveled and worked in several parts of the globe and hopes to continue doing so with her family in tow. Check out her blog, DominiqueTheParent, and connect with her on Twitter at @lookatdominique or on Facebook.

where did the time go?

I hate that question.  Looking at old photos of my babies feeling a bit nostalgic.  they will never know how cute they were to me then and now.  Parenting is so bittersweet.  No one ever told me that as babies grow up, they morph into toddlers, then kids, and those memories fade and it's a bit sad.  Granted, we have new memories and experiences, but it's still a bit emotional, don't you think?

I have friends having babies very soon, and I will even have another soon, so there's new joy, love, and laughter to be had.  but take a moment every now and then to look at old photos.  get them out of your iphone and frame them or scrapbook them.  show them to your kids, and share an old story! 

because they grow.  we grow.  and sometimes we forget!

time flies when you have a toddler and newborn!

Yeah, it's a been a while.  In my head, I feel like I've been through a lot and got a bunch of writing done, but when I look here, it tells a different story.  Where have I been?  Well here's the answer:

January - having NATURAL water birth to baby Naima (ny-ee-ma) and converting into zombie life of tending to newborn all hours of day and night (Oh yeah and keeping my 2 year old entertained).  I'll post the birth story later.

February - still feel and look like a zombie but getting a couple more hours of sleep.  Newborn is still thirsty and I'm still breastfeeding on demand.  2.5 year old is even more demanding.

March - had a birthday.  hubby had one too. (those don't matter so much when you're an adult with babies)  newborn responding and not as fragile.  she laughs and smiles which makes dealing with my crazy toddler less annoying.

April - back in the saddle.  i'm going to write at least once a week from now on.  well maybe once every two weeks. now that the toddler queen has learned how to use netflix and you tube, I have to hide the laptop from her.  she can probably type and blog too (she's that smart ;) which is probably why she's always trying to get her sticky fingers on my laptop and iPhone.

ahh kids.

no complaints.

life is good.

The Holidays came and went, where was I???

Oh right, I'm 9+ months pregnant and can't see my feet!  It's been a minute since I've posted and the only real developments have been my expanding belly and increasingly needy toddler.  I'm trying not to spoil Leena-Deen too much in her last days as an only child, but she's willing it anyways :)  My husband and I can't really fight it. 

We're not so much into the consumer chaos that is Thanksgiving and Christmas, so it was essentially stress free for me with the exception of an obligatory family dinner or two.  No decorations, no tree, no crazy gift shopping although we were very grateful for those we received.  

In lieu of presents for our family, I had Leena-Deen make several artistic masterpieces (i.e. toddler watercolor and fingerprint) and bought cheap frames from the dollar store.  Wrapped those up and voila - instant sentimental gift for loved ones.  A few of her pieces would give some of the artists showing in contemporary New York art galleries a run for their money.  

Anyways, I'll do a bigger update once our new bundle of joy makes her arrival, which could be any day now!

Peace and Blessings for the New Year,

~Dominique and family

Candy is Crack for Kids!

So Halloween just passed and while we didn't really celebrate, we did grab a bag of candy to give to any kids that came by our house.  Even though I have problems with the promotion of poor nutrition for kids, I'm certainly no Scrooge and since we're in a new neighborhood, I didn't want to be empty handed or be the weird house that gives out organic raisins (which was my original plan).

OR

   

Leena-Deen was very interested in the kids coming to our front door and cried after each left!  It was like she was being teased by the prospect of a new friend only to have them leave a moment later.  When we ran out of candy, I ran to the store to grab another bag.  When I came back, LD was literally acting crazy.  My husband said she found a tootsie roll I dropped by our front door and managed to open it up and eat it. OMG!  She was bouncing off the walls and muttering incoherent baby sentences while simultaneously laughing out loud.  This is what happens when a kid who doesn't regularly eat sugar eats one small piece of candy!  Her candy "high" lasted for about 10 minutes and tapered off to general silliness.

While I felt sort of bad for breaking our cardinal rule of giving her candy, it was interesting to see her reaction.  Of course that won't be happening again.  After her withdrawal and return to normal, I noticed her looking around for the candy (like a fiend!).  I distracted her with water, toys, and dancing around until she was tired enough for bed.  Hopefully she doesn't relapse and start scouring the house for bits of sugar.  I think I'll give my raisin plan some more thought next year!

Dominique's Healthy Parenting Tip-

Don't feel bad when you break your diet or you kids.  A slip up is not big deal provided you acknowledge it, address it, learn something from it and move on.  Life is short, so if you cave into the ice cream craving or give your baby something you never said you would (i.e. candy, juice, soda), don't sweat it.  Just discard the evidence, stock up on healthy replacements, and hope that they forget about it.   Out of sight, out of mind!

Midwife, Husband Doula, and Water - fun combo right?

Saw my Midwife last Monday.  Her name is Hope which I truly believe is a good sign of the positive experience to come.  The birth of my first little girl wasn't exactly my ideal.  My birth plan wasn't exactly followed and I had to argue with nurses and staff to avoid an unnecessary c-section.  My husband was the saving grace who helped me stand my ground and push, literally, to birth Leena-Deen the good old fashioned way.

I've explained my first birth story to Hope and my interest in having a doula (nonmedical person who assists a woman before, during, or after childbirth, as well as her partner and/or family, by providing information, physical assistance, and emotional support ~ Wikipedia). 

Hope then recommended that my husband and I look into the Bradley method this time around which focuses on husband coached birthing.  To be honest, my if you know my husband, you'll understand that that he doesn't need any method, class, or lesson to ward of scalpel -hungry doctors and impatient nurses.  He's tough yet sweet and beautifully protective of me and our daughter, so I think he'll be perfect as my labor support this time around.

We're also going to have a water birth.  I thought it best to use the water as meditative pain relief during labor.  After all, I'm a Pisces and love water, so this is probably the best place for me to be.  Why didn't I think of doing this before!?!? Me and hubby have to go check out the birth center and do a quick tour of the birthing tub/pool.  I'll keep you posted on how that goes.  If you are curious about water birth, check out: http://www.waterbirth.org/

water birth figurine - Bellyrinas - etsy.com

Dominique Healthy Parenting Tip - while books, manuals,  classes, and Google searches are widely helpful, also remember the natural human survival instinct we all have.  I'll bring up hunter-gather case here.  It argues that men are wired to go, collect, and get back home.  This is why they apparently like strippers and why they don't like prolonged shopping or other more thorough processes.  Women might be more interested in the totality of an experience and while generally more efficient, they are more observant, thorough and can make best use of what they have around them.  So with that said, I'll be centered and focused on my surroundings during birth while my husband goes to get me what I need, fights off unwanted intervention, and helps me and our soon to be new born make our natural transition to new life.

Bun in the oven

I'm happy to share that we are having another little girl. She's due beginning of January. I'm glad I kept some of Leena-Deen's clothes and baby supplies so we really don't need to buy anything. The only thing I'm considering is a double stroller. But I'll marinate on that idea for a bit.

In the meantime, I'm trying to eat right, get rest, and keep up with my two year old. Oh and did I mentioned Leena-Deen is potty trained!

Yes we accomplished this feat just before her 2nd birthday last summer. So I will avoid having two little ones in diapers. Maybe I can teach her how to help change her little sisters diapers which will of course be the cloth hand me downs Leena-Deen used.

Stay tuned for more updates on my 2nd pregnancy and Leena-Deen's adjustment.

Pregnancy is a magical blessing. It wasn't exactly easy as I've had two losses, one of which was earlier this year in February. My way of healing and moving is knowing that my body wasn't ready and the baby wasn't healthy. Perhaps this is why I put so much into my daughters heathy diet and development. Her life is so precious to me and I want her to be strong and healthy.

Some of the books I've read that have given me great perspective on my own body's strength and wellness are Heal Thyself by Queen Afua and Mama Glow by Latham Thomas.

I'll build my book list and post so you can see the other books that have inspired me.

NYC - June 2011 - two weeks before Leena-Deen's birth

Any of you on your second, third, fourth....pregnancy?

What advice can you share?

Grandma's Eating Her Veggies!

For the past three weeks, my mother who just turned 64 last Friday, has been following a vegan, gluten-free diet.  This all started when I scolded her for having so many processed diet snack foods in her pantry.  All this "fake" food was gross, and she's been eating it for years.  My mother is not overweight.  She never has been, but I think she's been eating this low calorie foods to stay that way.  She has a petite frame and I can't imagine that she'd ever really pack on too much weight.  My main concern was that the processed foods were full of artificial sweeteners, high levels of sodium, and other chemicals and preservatives that could't possibly be good for long term consumption.  So I put my healthy parent cap on and sat her down to school her on some of the benefits of natural and homemade foods as well healthy alternatives she could buy at the store.  I told her her that some of her mild health problems would probably improve by simply making these changes in her diet.

Well, my mother, who shall I say is a bit dramatic, took all of this to heart, and has been following a strict vegan and gluten-free diet for nearly a month and plans to continue to do so.  I'm proud of her, but I don't want her to get bored eating the same organic beans, brown rice, and salad combo everyday.  If that happens, she might be tempted to consume some of the junk in the fast food places in her neighborhood.

So to spice things up, I've made her some yummy options to indulge in.  All are vegan and some are gluten-free.

For her birthday I made her a vegan, gluten-free double layer chocolate cake (recipe)

Other snacks and meals I've made are:

vegan, gluten-free peanut butter cookies
black bean tacos with green salsa and tofu sour cream
berry, flaxseed, almond milk smoothie
asian tofu stir fry
vegan pad thai
vegan thai red curry/green curry with brown rice

So my mom is looking good and feeling great!  Stay tuned for more updates on her journey!

Young Mommy Farmers

What if all women were taught how to farm and create sustainable and nutritional foods for themselves and their families.  What if the community supported these efforts and provided land and resources to do so?

Well....

I just saw the documentary, Grown In Detroit which "focuses on the urban gardening efforts managed by a public school of 300, mainly African-American, pregnant and parenting teenagers".  In the film, "The young mothers, often still children themselves, learn to become knowledgeable about the importance of nutritional foods, the process by which these foods arrive at their plates, and ultimately, to become independent and self-empowered through the process of farming. Many of them start out disliking the often physically hard work on the farm, but this aversion disappears as they see the fruits of their labor growing and being sold for profit." (Grown In Detroit). 

This is happening at the Catherine Ferguson Academy for Young Women in Detroit.  The school was nearly shut down a couple years ago, but it's opening under a new charter this fall.  I wish there were more places like this in other states.  It would be particularly useful in my home state of California.

Do any of you know of other similar schools or organizations?  Do any of you grow any food at your home or support a local farm?

Leena-Deen Toddler Food Menu (Vegan)

LEENA-DEEN TODDLER FOOD MENU

(VEGAN)

Start each morning off with kisses and WATER!

BREAKFAST (any of the following)

·         Ezekiel 4:9 whole grain Cinnamon raisin bread, sliced fruit (apples, bananas, or

orange), organic almond milk, small cup of honey nut o’s or granola (Cascadian Farm

Organic).

·        Hot cereal (organic oatmeal) mixed with frozen blueberries & honey or

maple syrup, cinnamon, almond milk

·         Fruit smoothie: organic almond milk base, add frozen strawberries, blueberries,

banana, agave nectar or honey, teaspoon of peanut butter, two spoonfuls of

cooked oats or quinoa, and flaxseed meal. Blend and serve in sippy cup with

straw.

·         Homemade or frozen organic buckwheat or whole wheat pancakes or waffles.  Drizzle with maple syrup and fresh or warmed up frozen fruit on the side. (serve with 1 cup of half organic apple juice and half water blend or almond milk)

LUNCH/DINNER (any of the following)

·         Cooked sweet potatoes and spinach or greens (seasoned with salt/pepper).

Drizzle potatoes with honey or maple syrup for added flavor. Add a spoonful of

beans or lentils on the side. Applesauce, fresh fruit, or a couple cookies for

dessert.

·         Cooked beans and brown rice. Add spinach or greens on the side. Applesauce,

fresh fruit, or a couple of cookies for dessert.

·         Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, served with juice/water

blend and same dessert options as above

·         Lentil or minestrone soup with whole grain bread or crackers and side of cooked

spinach

·         Green smoothie: organic apple or orange juice base, add frozen or fresh spinach,

kale or other dark greens, carrots, oranges, ginger. Blend and serve in sippy cup

with straw.

·         If not hungry or for a quick meal, hot cereal or a smoothie is always a good option

SNACKS (can be served at any time of day)

·         Handful of honey nut o’s or other granola (Cascadian Farm Organic).

·         Small handful of bite size cookies (homemade or store bought vegan)

·         Veggie sticks

·         Trail mix (supervise her when she’s eating nuts)

·         Fruit (cut up apple, oranges, bananas, grapefruit or any other fresh/organic

selection)

raising a black vegan baby???

black vegan?  black vegan baby?

i don't usually like to preface things with the word "black".  but sometimes to make my point, i want to mention it because it sheds some light on the feelings and support or lack thereof I get when i have certain ideas or practices that are atypical to my "blackness".  For example, on holidays, special occasions, or at least once a week, traditional African-American families eat "soul food" which is high in fatty meats, cheeses, oils, butters, and overcooked vegetables soaked in animal fat, salt, butter, etc.  Don't get me wrong, the stuff is good, and many other people from part take in these indulgences, but considering the obesity epidemic, heart disease, and other problems associated with this type of diet, we decided to avoid it all together.

hence our black vegan baby...

my mother and other family members sometimes worry about me and my "ideas".  i usually have to preface things I mention to her by saying "now i know what you're going to say, but here me out..."

me and hubby had an informal checklist for raising our first born:

breastfeed for at least a year. check.
cloth diaper and hand-wash and line dry. check.
make homemade organic baby food. check.
stay away from vaccines. check.
decide on a diet for our little lady???

we're still trying to work that out.  as of now she's a vegan. i'm not even a vegan (i'm trying to get there), but the baby is quite content with her diet of veggies, fruits, nuts, nut milks, and beans.  She self-weaned after 16 months of breastfeeding during which I also pumped milk. I had hoped to breastfeed or
least have a supply until she was 2 but she wasn't interested in nursing especially after she discovered walking and running around and my pumped supply didn't last very long. While I wanted to avoid formula all together, I did break down when we went on vacation and found organic formula for her to have something in lieu of my breast milk. I started with Earth’s Best Organic Infant Formula and then switched to Baby’s Only Organic Formula which I found to be a little more agreeable. My husband was against formula and spending money on it especially since we had gone over a year on FREE breast milk and thought her nutritional needs could now be met with food since she had grown some teeth and was very interested
in eating. So after a couple months on the organic formulas, we did some research and came up with a menu where she could get all the amounts of vitamins she needed. She now gets more than enough whole, grains, protein, calcium, Omega 3, Vitamin B-12, Vitamin D, and Vitamin C through all the different fruits, veggies, nut milks, whole grain breads and cereals she eats. And boy, does she love to eat!  Here’s a sample menu I left for my mother to use when me and hubby went away for a week trip.

Leena-Deen Vegan Food Menu

I think its a great menu to start off with and as she gets older, we can add new dishes. Is she missing out on yogurts and cheeses, ice creams and other "treats" kids enjoy.  not really, since she's never had it and we occassionally give her the dairy free ice creams and treats.  Of course we don't want her to be that weird kid in school that can't eat anything, but my hope is that healthy and conscious eating will become more mainstream so she won't be the odd girl out. Our main objective is for her to be healthy and avoid the toxic GMOs, hormones, and other gross chemicals found in meat, dairy, and other processed and packaged foods and beverages.  Additionally, I don't want her to develop bad allergies, mucous buildup, ear infections, and other bodily function problems which I suffered from as a kid due to my un-diagnosed sensitivity to diary and wheat.  I know there is organic and free range milk, eggs, and meat products, but her diet is complete.  Take a look at this vegan food pyramid.

We are considering introducing organic eggs or wild fish into her diet.  This will likely be after my husband gets his dream farm and we can raise our own chickens and go fishing. But for now, she’s very content with her vegan meals.  I'll be posting some of her favorite dishes so stay tuned.

What do you feed your little ones?

Cleaning Cloth Diapers

The cleaning: As I mentioned before, we decided to use the Laundromat down the street to clean our cloth diapers along with our other laundry. There are a couple of methods you can use to handle dirty cloth diapers. Some suggest just storing them in a closed plastic trash can or laundry bag with baking soda or scented oils on the bottom to keep smells out. I tried that, it still stinks! Others suggest having a “wet pail”, which is basically a closed lid bucket or trash you keep filled with water and let the diapers soak until you’re ready to wash. I tried that, it still stinks! By the time I got to the laundry mat with wet or dried on pee or poop diapers, I was a walking trail of stink. It was truly a walk of shame. I’d throw the diapers in the wash and quickly shut the washing machine door before anyone noticed the stench was coming from me. It wasn’t horrible like NYC trash on hot summer day stink; it was more like ammonia (the lingering pee smell) mixed with a faint smell of poop stink. It’s bearable in your own home with your own washing machine, but not fair to other public laundry users. So, my husband said “Forget about the Laundromat, I’ll just hand wash them myself”. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized he was serious. He’s a frugal man, and on that day, I saw he’s the world’s best dad and I can’t wait to tell our daughter that he hand washed her poop diapers. I will say this only works for us because he’s at home with her during the day. If our daughter was in day-care or had another caretaker I might have gone with the all-in-one diaper plan and the dry bag that we’d hand wash ourselves at night.

Now my husband’s routine may sound overwhelming, but really it’s not that bad. And I usually take on the tasks during the weekend when I’m home all day. The baby goes through about 6-10 pre-folds and maybe 2-3 diaper covers a day depending on if the diaper covers get wet or dirty. In a whole day, only 2 or 3 of the diaper changes have poop. So as the day goes by and she does her business, my husband just takes out

the pre-fold from the diaper cover and rinses it with water to get the pee out. Then he sets it aside in a bucket or in the tub or bathroom sink until he can wash it with soap later in the day. If there’s poop, he shakes or scrapes the solids into the toilet, then follows the same routine as the pee diapers. Some cloth diaper users use handheld sprayers attached to the toilet or bath to spray off the poopy diapers, but I didn’t find it necessary to invest in. At the end of the night, he gets his bucket and soap and hand washes the small pile of dirty pre-folds. Then, he wrings them out and hangs them to dry. If he has a heavier load, I occasionally help out or hang out with him in the bathroom while he does the washing. Then, we either hang them in the bathroom or on a clothesline we put up in her room. It may sound crazy but it works and isn’t a big burden at all. On a few occasions, the loads did pile up in which case we were sometimes left with our stinky bucket problem. But it never lasts long and by changing the water we are able to buy ourselves another odor-free day. If we are really behind, we resort to the laundry method we started with but that is only on a rare occasion. We use Dr. Bronners Baby Mild Soap or sometimes just use the baby’s SheaMoisture Raw Shea Chamomile & Argan Oil Baby Head-To-Toe Wash & Shampoo. There was a short period when we started introducing Leena-Deen to different foods so she was going through more diapers while her body adjusted. My husband was washing more diapers each night and started getting raw chapped hands, so I bought him some dishwashing gloves and later even ordered a Wonder Washer for $60 which is basically a plug in cleaning appliance that swishes around a small load of clothes. Think of it as an oversized blender for clothes. It didn’t work when it arrived (busted motor) and after testing out the replacement, we both realized we were better off hand washing in a bucket and using a stick to swish the clothes around. Needless to say, I returned the item. Good old fashioned hand washing worked for us. Maybe on our next round with our a second child, I might want to find something to assist us with wringing out the diapers. But I’m hoping that by baby #2, we’re living in a bigger place where we can utilize an energy efficient washer/dryer. However, knowing my husband, we’ll probably be using a bicycle or solar powered machine!

Dominique's cloth diapering step-by-step

The backstory: My husband and I wanted to do cloth diapering to save money, save the earth, and protect our baby’s bum. We live in NYC which is already so full of people and trash, and my husband and I simply didn’t want to contribute to any more waste. Long story short, I did a lot of research and learned that disposable diapers for the first 2 1⁄2 years can cost up to $3000 whereas re-useable diapers are only a fraction of that.

The research: I originally considered using a diaper service (yes, they still exist). After a bit of cost analysis I soon crossed that off the list because it didn’t fit my family budget. Depending on the type of cloth diaper you choose, a diaper service can run you between $35 and $50 a week. Next, I considered getting a small washer/dryer combo for our apartment in order to do our own washing at home. I had to cross that option off my list because I found out we weren’t allowed to have one in our building. Otherwise the washer and dryer would have been roughly $800-$1500, plus the cost of the diapers. Without that option, my husband convinced me we could manage and make use of the Laundromat down the street from our house. We wash our other clothes there, so why not throw in some cloth diapers? (this arrangement later changed, see my notes in The Cleaning section) Once we settled on the cloth diaper and Laundromat plan, I started researching the whole range of cloth diaper options and prepared to start my shopping.

The Purchase: During the later months of my pregnancy, I obsessively researched all the different brands of cloth diapers, covers, and all-in-ones. The all-in-ones (AIO) are the easiest because they are inserts and diaper covers built into one diaper and only involve one step just like a disposable diaper. However you need more and have to wash more frequently, which would have increased my budget. Actually, before I ruled out the all-in-one diapers, I actually ordered a sample on Ebay which came from China! (I wouldn’t recommend this. Whenever possible, always try to buy local US products, better for our environment and economy).

I finally settled on a combo of waterproof diaper covers with pre-fold cotton diapers. If you are clueless about this whole thing, a diaper cover is a waterproof diaper worn over a cloth diaper or other insert to prevent moisture from getting everywhere. Think of them as a rain coat or shower cap you wear over your underwear. After debating the numerous options, I finally chose the Thirsties brand of diaper covers. I got them on Amazon and they run between $11 and $13 each and they have snaps or Velcro, several different colors and patterns, and they are made in good old USA. I started with a couple of the small newborn size, and then eventually moved up to about 5 pairs of the one size fits all.

Thirsties diaper covers
Once I settled on my diaper covers, I knew I needed the actual cloth diapers. I knew that I wanted something easy so I opted for pre-fold diapers as opposed to the ones that are small blanket size you have to fold into a diaper yourself. I decided to go with the unbleached cotton pre-folds. They have Indian ones and Chinese ones and the only difference is that one is slightly softer and one may last longer. There’s a better breakdown (here). Debating between Chinese and Indian wasn’t a big deal for me, but it got me thinking, what about the African method? Is there one? I remember when I was living in Ghana as an exchange student, I often saw babies with no diapers or a simple cloth wrapped around their bum. In rural tribal communities, parents use truly natural methods and don’t use any diapers and instead rely on cues and “elimination communication” to know when babies need to go. I wasn’t quite ready for that, so I chose the unbleached Indian pre-folds by OsoCozy. One pack of six costs about $11 - $12.
As an upgrade from the safety pins our foremothers used, I ordered Snappi hooks to keep the pre-fold closed which are far better than pins since they don’t prick you or baby. They are easy and come in lots of fun colors.

Once I had my set of Snappi fasteners, pre-folds, and diapers in tow, I just needed a baby to put them on. I waited patiently, practiced on dolls, and pillows, and finally, my little girl was born!
Practice Makes Perfect: After Leena-Deen was born, I used the disposable diapers provided by the hospital, family, and friends. While I wanted to get into my cloth diapering routine right away, I was happy to have the free disposables (about a 2 month supply) which made things a little easier in those first few weeks of sleepless nights. If I'm blessed with another baby, I feel confident and ready to do the cloth diapers from day one. (ask me that again when baby #2 comes, lol)
After the first couple months, I easily transitioned from the disposable to the cloth diapers considering I had been researching, watching videos, and practicing for a couple months before I even had a baby. My baby and her bum were comfortable, chemical and rash free, and best of all, I had no trash! In lieu of baby wipes, I used cut up towels and t-shirts which I moistened with a mix of water and Dr. Bronners Baby Mild Soap. When needed, I moisturized her bum with baby oil, coconut oil that me and hubby use, or organic baby lotion. My favorite which you can get from Target is Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Chamomile & Argan Oil Baby Healing Lotion.

The cleaning: As I mentioned before, we decided to use the Laundromat down the street to clean our cloth diapers along with our other laundry. There are a couple of methods you can use to handle dirty cloth diapers. Some suggest just storing them in a closed plastic trash can or laundry bag with baking soda or scented oils on the bottom to keep smells out. I tried that, it still stinks! Others suggest having a “wet pail”, which is basically a closed lid bucket or trash you keep filled with water and let the diapers soak until you’re ready to wash. I tried that, it still stinks! By the time I got to the laundry mat with wet or dried on pee or poop diapers, I was a walking trail of stink. It was truly a walk of shame. I’d throw the diapers in the wash and quickly shut the washing machine door before anyone noticed the stench was coming from me. It wasn’t horrible like NYC trash on hot summer day stink; it was more like ammonia (the lingering pee smell) mixed with a faint smell of poop stink. It’s bearable in your own home with your own washing machine, but not fair to other public laundry users. So, my husband said “Forget about the Laundromat, I’ll just hand wash them myself”. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized he was serious. He’s a frugal man, and on that day, I saw he’s the world’s best dad and I can’t wait to tell our daughter that he hand washed her poop diapers. I will say this only works for us because he’s at home with her during the day. If our daughter was in day-care or had another caretaker I might have gone with the all-in-one diaper plan and the dry bag that we’d hand wash ourselves at night.
Now my husband’s routine may sound overwhelming, but really it’s not that bad. And I usually take on the tasks during the weekend when I’m home all day. The baby goes through about 6-10 pre-folds and maybe 2-3 diaper covers a day depending on if the diaper covers get wet or dirty. In a whole day, only 2 or 3 of the diaper changes have poop. So as the day goes by and she does her business, my husband just takes out

the pre-fold from the diaper cover and rinses it with water to get the pee out. Then he sets it aside in a bucket or in the tub or bathroom sink until he can wash it with soap later in the day. If there’s poop, he shakes or scrapes the solids into the toilet, then follows the same routine as the pee diapers. Some cloth diaper users use handheld sprayers attached to the toilet or bath to spray off the poopy diapers, but I didn’t find it necessary to invest in. At the end of the night, he gets his bucket and soap and hand washes the small pile of dirty pre-folds. Then, he wrings them out and hangs them to dry. If he has a heavier load, I occasionally help out or hang out with him in the bathroom while he does the washing. Then, we either hang them in the bathroom or on a clothesline we put up in her room. It may sound crazy but it works and isn’t a big burden at all. On a few occasions, the loads did pile up in which case we were sometimes left with our stinky bucket problem. But it never lasts long and by changing the water we are able to buy ourselves another odor-free day. If we are really behind, we resort to the laundry method we started with but that is only on a rare occasion. We use Dr. Bronners Baby Mild Soap or sometimes just use the baby’s SheaMoisture Raw Shea Chamomile & Argan Oil Baby Head-To-Toe Wash & Shampoo. There was a short period when we started introducing Leena-Deen to different foods so she was going through more diapers while her body adjusted. My husband was washing more diapers each night and started getting raw chapped hands, so I bought him some dishwashing gloves and later even ordered a Wonder Washer for $60 which is basically a plug in cleaning appliance that swishes around a small load of clothes. Think of it as an oversized blender for clothes. It didn’t work when it arrived (busted motor) and after testing out the replacement, we both realized we were better off hand washing in a bucket and using a stick to swish the clothes around. Needless to say, I returned the item. Good old fashioned hand washing worked for us. Maybe on our next round with our a second child, I might want to find something to assist us with wringing out the diapers. But I’m hoping that by baby #2, we’re living in a bigger place where we can utilize an energy efficient washer/dryer. However, knowing my husband, we’ll probably be using a bicycle or solar powered machine!

The remix: My cloth diaper routine was going quite well early on, but I sometimes found myself in a predicament of not having enough pre-folds at my disposal. They are pretty thick, and since I don’t have an outdoor clothes line and wasn’t using a dryer, they took a while to dry inside of my apartment even with a fan. I didn’t want to spend any more money on more pre-folds, so I looked for an alternative and found a 60 pack of 100% cotton flannel pre-folded diapers for $20. The price was too good to be true, so I took a gamble and ordered them on Amazon. 100% Cotton Flannel Prefolded Diapers 60 Pack. They aren’t as thick or absorbent as the pre-folds, but they also dry faster, I can use two at a time, or 1 with a folded wash cloth for extra absorption. And you don’t need to use the Snappi or other pins with these. They are contoured and easily fold in and stay in place under the diaper cover. They are also good to use as wipes and burp cloths. This combination has worked quite well for us. Even though Leena-Deen spends the majority of her time at home, we’re still able to do the diapering on the go. We just bring an extra bag to keep the used diapers in until we’re home to wash them. I had no problem keeping up my routine when I took her to visit my family in LA. And I was happy to use my family’s washer/dryer. When we went on a European trip just

before her first birthday, I opted to buy one pack of diapers since I knew we’d be on the go and didn’t want to bring extra bags I unsure of our washing set-up in each place we were visiting. I brought a small pack from home and also bought a pack of cute natural disposable diapers in Paris. Knowing what I know now, I could probably do the cloth diapering on an international trip with some advance preparation.

Potty Training:
Now, I’m happy to say that through all the trials and tribulations, Leena-Deen is on her way to being diaper free and she’s only 1 1⁄2 . I’m hopeful she’ll be out of diapers and into undies or cloth training pants by age 2. We’re just now embarking on our potty training journey, so I’ll re-cap that in the coming weeks.

Green living = more green in my pocket:
In addition to my daughter’s advancements in potty training, I’m also happy to report that the total I spent on her diapers, soaps, laundry, and other accessories was approximately $350! This is slightly yes than most other cloth diaper users who buy more covers, pre-folds, or all-in-ones and all the other diaper accessories like the cloth wipes and cleaners and bags and average a total cost of $1000 - $1500 which is still considerably less than the $3000 that most spend on disposables, diaper rash creams, and other add-ons. So take a moment to consider if this a line item in your family budget that you want to save on or if you just want to challenge yourself and your family to being more frugal and environmental. With my extra savings, I can set money aside for our first home purchase, buy some cute new cotton underwear for my little lady and I can get nice hand cream and give my hubby a much needed hand massage after doing all that hand washing!

Cloth diapers worked for us and may work for you too! ~Dominique